Keyshia Cole : Dysfuntional Family Ties

I'm not much of a big fan of television, but there are a few shows that grab my attention. Keyshia Cole, an African-American R&B singer, whose life has been everything but normal decided to air her personal life story in a reality TV show in 2006 entitled, Keyshia Cole – The Way it Is. The show highlighted her experiences of being a platinum selling R&B artist and what life was like for her growing up as an orphan without a mother and father. Her biological mother, Frankie abandoned her when she was a toddler and left her in the hands of a close family friend, Yvonne, who would be her primary caretaker from age three through her adult years. Keyshia's mother Frankie, who has six other children, all from different men, struggled to find her way on the streets of Oakland, California. Since Keyshia Cole was born, Frankie has battled with her addiction to cocaine – a substance that she feels has destroyed not only her life but her ability to establish and maintain healthy relationships with her seven children. To support her addiction, Frankie took to the streets of Oakland, California, selling her body for any amount of money that could support her crack habit.

Meanwhile, Keyshia Cole had her odds stacked up in her favor, being raised by Yvonne – a woman of strong faith and determination. It was Keyshia's close attachment to her adoptive mother and loving support of her adoptive family while growing up that nurtured a multi-million dollar earning star.

After two seasons of her first show, The Way it Is, Keyshia Cole parted ways with her family to start a family of her own. In the second stage of the Family Life Cycle, referred to as “Coupling,” Keyshia met, who she thought was her true love, Daniel Gibson (a former NBA basketball player). They took to the traditional approach and got married, then gave birth to a healthy baby boy who Keyshia named after her husband, Daniel Gibson. With all positive intentions, Keyshia and her husband Daniel decided to go public with their marriage and created a TV show entitled, Family First (2012) which only ran for one season before getting canceled.

Tension surrounding Keyshia Cole and her husband Daniel’s wedding began to surface rapidly. Her close sister, Neffe, who also had a feature role in Keyshia’s first reality TV show entitled, “The Way it Is” did not show up to Keyshia’s wedding. Keyshia, being the youngest child in her family, also considered the “golden child” because of her rise to fame, grew very angry and distant toward her sister for not accepting her wedding invitation. Keyshia, who is used to the spontaneity of booking flights at last minutes’ notice for shows and performances across the country sent an invite to Neffe and her husband, who are raising five children of their own, only a few days before the wedding. With little time to make travel reservations, it became obvious why Neffe and her family did not show up.

But fans of Keyshia Cole, like myself, would venture to say that it was more than just a late wedding invitation that caused a divide between Keyshia and her biological sister Neffe. When you look back at the second season of Keyshia’s first show, The Way it Is, you will see that Keyshia Cole took on a motherly role by inviting her mother Frankie, her sister Neffe, and Neffe’s four children at the time, to move in and live with her. After months of living under the same roof, the tide began to turn and Keyshia, not wanting to put up with the stress from being the hero of the family decided to evict her sister and her four children. As an alternative, Keyshia Cole provided her younger sister, Elite with a brand new house, paid for in full.

Fast forward several years to the present day and you will see Keyshia Cole starring in yet another reality TV show, self-titled, Keyshia Cole: All In. Only six episodes into the first season, and you see a family that is dysfunctionally functional. It’s a group of people with their own personalities enmeshed together trying to create a prototype of the ideal family, yet struggling with their own insecurities, fears, and life challenges. In the show, Keyshia Cole and Daniel are divorced and are co-parenting an attention seeking and needy toddler. Her mother, Frankie, is a recovering alcoholic, but is still using cocaine. What appears to be the story of a successful R&B star turns out to be an uncovering of a woman who is still struggling to find her own identity and happiness within the context of a family who is highly dependent on her for their own success and happiness. The show is a picture perfect idea of what a family looks like that has suffered generations of dysfunction for so long that it’s almost invisible to their own naked eye. I will continue to tune in and watch the outcome of Keyshia’s story as it is one that many young women and men across America can identify with.  


Copyright 2015 Danielle Leach All Rights Reserved